Barbara J.L. O'Riordan
“Wisdom is knowing I am nothing, love is knowing I am everything, and between the two my life moves.”
— Nisargadatta Maharaj
Forgiveness is the letting go of blameworthiness and resentment with regard to anybody who has wounded you, offended you, or insulted you. So long as you are still deeply attached to your ego and perceived self-image, you will always be easily hurt and your heart will continue to bear the soreness. Some people nurse their hurt feelings and rage for months, while others do it for years. In the end, you are in a war with yourself.
Letting go is the secret of contentment. Here are some footsteps singled out from my forgiveness journey.
♥ I forgive this person. I will no longer hurt myself by renting space in my mind to thoughts about the ways in which this person has hurt me By holding on to anger and resentment, I have brought myself far more pain than this person has brought me.
♥ I forgive this person because even my tiniest judgmental, hateful, blaming, or unforgiving thought contributes to the collective thought pool that is responsible for wars.
♥ I forgive this person because I know that if I hate them, I also hate the spiritual Master, and myself as well.
♥ I forgive this person because I recognize their “faults” in myself.
♥ I forgive this person. I see that I made them “the worst person in the world” so that I would not have to be.
♥ I forgive this person and say to them, “We can be the worst person in the world together.”
♥ I forgive this person because the picture of them in my mind is not who they really are. They have become a symbol for anybody who ever has acted (or will act) superior to me, made fun of me, not taken me seriously, or “made me feel small.” This picture is a patchwork of some painful, unfinished stories I have told myself about the past.
♥ I forgive this person because I recognize that they were never the one to “make me unhappy.” I make myself happy or unhappy according to the stories that I tell myself; thus, I am responsible for my own happiness.
♥ I forgive this person because I recognize that their “bad” behaviour came from a deep need to matter — a need that I and all human beings share.
♥ I forgive this person because I have compassion for those parts of myself that may offend others and which I am still unable to understand and transform.
♥ I forgive this person because calling anybody impossible is tantamount to killing them, and in killing somebody, a part of me dies when dealing with interpersonal relationships of every kind, we come up against the errors and annoying characteristics of others. In response to this, we can develop a personal thought process which is mindful, and transformative. Here is a plan of action for this approach, which can change irritation into empathy: as well. I accept that I do not yet have the skills necessary for communicating compassionately with every human being. I work on developing those skills every day.
♥ I forgive this person because they are fine just as they are. There is no need for them to change just to suit my wishes.
♥ I forgive this person because they have taken on a human incarnation for the sake of developing sufficient wisdom and virtue to obviate the need for future births.
♥ I forgive this person because my anger towards them shows me how much they matter to me.
♥ I forgive this person. I replace my strategy of punishing them with the strategy of being Present.
♥ I forgive this person because I recognize that it was easier to be angry with them than to experience and transform the shame that was stimulated in me as the result of their actions.
♥ I forgive this person because I am now able to transform my dark and painful emotions into feelings of love, self-forgiveness, and compassion.
♥ I forgive this person because compassion is growing in me. I have immense compassion for the feelings and needs of all people.
♥ I forgive this person because my heart softens.
♥ I forgive this person because the connection is the only thing that heals.
Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu
May all beings everywhere be happy and free, and may the thoughts, words, and actions of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and to that freedom for all.
May this person, whom I have fully forgiven, be happy.
May this person, whom I have fully forgiven, fervently wish for the happiness of all the beings in all the worlds.
May all beings everywhere be happy and free. May the thoughts, words, and actions of this person, whom I have fully forgiven, contribute in some way to that happiness and freedom for all.
Loka Samastha Sukino Bhavantu.
Loka Samastha Sukino Bhavantu.
Loka Samastha Sukino Bhavantu.
Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti.
