Trepidations Of A Past Life That Never Happened

January 25, 2021

 

There is a tumultuous thunderstorm over my head,
And I’m thinking about how the Universe wanted us to be together so badly she demanded the sky exploded when we had our first kiss.
How lemon scented cigarettes will never fail to remind me of you.
How we climbed over walls (literally and metaphorically,) and how we walked miles and when our legs ached, we just kept walking (again, literally and metaphorically)
And how I loved you so much that,
I stole songs from artists and hid the lyrics between bubbles of laughter in playback voice recordings.
I gave birth to your children before we had the chance to make them…
I travelled to the darkest corners of the Universe,
To find you holding stars in your eyes and celestials between your lips.
I found the Sun in your chest and comets at your fingertips.
We didn’t just grow up together,
We grew in.
Folding and intertwining till I didn’t know where you started and I ended…
Look! I’m writing this poem and the thunder won’t stop clapping.
She knows how the stars rolled through the seven heavens to align for us…
But I guess that wasn’t enough for you?
It wasn’t enough that I waited a whole decade to be written into a future with you
To be reincarnated into your timeline
It was not enough to give, and give, and give back whatever you gave me too.
So what is left for me to do
Other than poem you into a history that our children won’t read,
And poem them into fiction that you will never read.

There’s a tumultuous thunderstorm outside, and I’m thinking about how I have lived a whole lifetime with you in my mind,
So I guess there’s nothing left to live for…

 

 

 

Manar Ali

Manar started writing poetry when she was 10 years old. But she spiralled into depression and lost track of writing because she was constantly searching for some sort of light in the abyss in which she was trapped. Manar learnt very recently that her name means light and she realised that she was so caught up in looking for the light when she literally was the light.

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