Devika BrendonSurviving And Thriving In Times Of Crisis
If we liken ourselves and our lives to ships on the ocean, it is a challenge at times to keep afloat, let alone to successfully navigate the troubled areas of life we find it necessary to move through. Icelandic fishermen used to say, in their practical wisdom, that when storms at sea make it impossible to sail, that is the time to restock your supplies and mend your nets.
This is a powerful image of creative restoration, and it appealed to me as a visual way of outlining a condensed list of suggestions to help a storm-tossed soul renew herself and restore her equilibrium, in troubled times.
Learned helplessness is a terrible state of passivity akin to paralysis of the will. We become aware that we are in crisis quite suddenly, but – when we consider – we usually realize that there is a process which has led to it: events may have occurred in a non-stop sequence, with no time for us to process them. We can find ourselves overreacting to small issues, and feeling easily triggered – not wanting to engage with arguments on FB or Twitter or negative news stories on television or social media informing us of the chaos in the world.
We can feel stupid, or incapable, burnt out and overwhelmed, disconnected and unravelled. We may feel that we cannot meet our deadlines or do anything admirable or great or even good. This is the very time to take small, optimistic steps and build some positive momentum. By doing so, we weave the safety nets and support structures of our lives together.
Challenging and traumatic events in our personal or professional lives can severely disrupt our emotional balance; and if we live in countries where natural disasters and political unrest are constant occurrences, we must develop a personal routine which enables us to develop resilience and ensures that we keep going, and move through the troubled times into better days.
Mending our nets is a good image for us to consider as we create a routine to protect our state of mind.
As women, whether married, with or without children, looking after ageing parents, we are responsible for running our households and managing our lives with dedication and efficiency.
A lot is asked of us; so we must surely set a good foundation for ourselves, with respect for our own survival and fulfilment as well as those closely connected to us.
A daily routine is a calming and reassuring process which grounds us and empowers us. It enables us to organize our lives and map out the goals we want to achieve over time: by the week, fortnight and month. When challenges occur, strengthened by the routine we establish as our normal mode, we will be ready to meet these challenges calmly, and positively, with a problem-solving mindset, and with a minimum of distress and disturbance to our happiness and peace of mind.
Here are eight suggestions for gentle activism in our daily life, which can enable us, as in the poem ‘The White Magnolia Tree’, to actively succeed, ‘in a world at war, to maintain the heart’s own private peace’:
♥. Prepare for a good start to the day the night before: pack your bag for the next day’s work, lay out your clothes, clear your sleeping space of everything but the bedding and pillows. Turn off the lights, and all electronic devices. Rest is the best investment in your health.
♥. In the morning, if you wake up worried or anxious about anything, add a salt wash to your shower: dissolve two tablespoons of salt in a bowl of hot water and pour it over your body. Imagine all the residue of negativity washing off you. This is cleansing for your perspective as well as your body: salt is a natural disinfectant.
♥. Make sure you drink glasses of water and fresh fruit or vegetable juices in the morning, along with whatever vitamins or medicines you take. This nurtures your whole being. Lime and cucumber juice can be made in a jug and taken by the glass from the fridge as needed. Rhythms of repetition such as regular exercise at regular times will send messages to us that we are nourishing ourselves.
♥. Before looking at email or FB or Twitter, make a short 5 point plan of what you want to achieve by the end of the day. Write the plan points down in a small notebook. Use boxes to tick off each task you have completed. Celebrate each completed task, no matter how small. Add bright, colourful stickers if you like, to your notebook! We can learn a lot from children’s activities when organising ourselves like this. They enjoy fun and colourful stationery and paper, and so can we!
♥. Set the first part of the morning aside for yourself, and only then address the deadlines you have to meet, and communicate with colleagues/ clients. Each interaction adds a layer of complexity to your schedule. Do not answer telephone calls or texts before 9 am, or after 6 pm. If possible. This is not easy, but committing to create this space for your own equilibrium is vital to your sense of calm control. By getting ahead of the day, and intentionally planning to achieve your goals, you ensure that you do not just automatically react to every incoming request or demand from others and let your day be dictated by their needs and demands.
♥. Identify what tasks in the day you consider most challenging and potentially stressful or disruptive, and make sure you add in simple and joyful experiences into your day, to refresh yourself between the difficulties of dealing with the hard tasks, and reminding you of the joy in life. This is as easy as putting a fresh flower in a clear glass of water on your desk, or making a fragrant cup of tea.
♥. Simple, practical and necessary tasks such as washing, cleaning, mending, gardening or basic meal preparation can be useful ways of lowering sudden agitation or a sense of personal powerlessness. Often just getting up and walking out of the room in which you are overthinking a situation you are worried about, can help create mental space. Planting seeds in a pot in the garden can remind you that preparation and time are natural requirements for good things to come into being. Planning ahead by prepping ‘comfort food’, ensuring that you are providing a nutritious and sustaining meal in advance, to support your health and vitality, can reassure you and redirect your thoughts towards the future.
Taking out clean and brightly-coloured sheets and towels, and using favourite cups and plates on days when you feel overwhelmed, are surprisingly simple ways of cheering and supporting yourself on difficult days. Expensive spa visits are not possible, every day, but having a bath with a lovely piece of soap, and drying yourself afterwards with a freshly washed, fluffy towel, is a powerfully restorative experience.
♥. Wear bright colours when going out of the house and interacting with others. Reds, yellows, oranges, brilliant blues and vibrant greens! Make sure that when you talk with others you do so as positively as you can: consciously add value to everything you engage in, offering support or advice and encouragement to those people in our lives when needed. Helping others like this in everyday interactions is a very direct way to demonstrate to ourselves that we are capable and have resources to offer. It directly challenges feelings of worthlessness we might have, and shows us that those feelings are temporary, and not true.
Do try these suggestions and see how positively they can help you develop resilience in your life and attitude, to help you keep going when times get tough.
