Rifaq Azhar
Everybody has their childhood memories, which cannot be erased by any means or will never disappear but will be stored forever somewhere around in their hard disk.
The 90s kids have been blessed in many ways. They are the generation witnessing the social transformation from antiquity to the Modern era within their lifespan. That is to say, and they are the living testimony endorsing the fall of antiquity and the rise of modernity. I would say this generation is unique and will be able to evaluate the pros and cons of both eras precisely that cannot be done by any other generation.
We thought many things blessings in the 90s were perceived as crazy and ridiculous by modern kids. They will never be able to make sense of what we enjoyed in those days. The demarcating line between two generations is that earlier emotions and sentiments controlled us, whereas devices predominantly dominated the modern generation. The criteria of fun and the way of life that we enjoy are entirely different from modern kids’.
Being a part of 90s kids, I am proud of myself and therefore would like to share some memories which make me excited.
Indeed, the meaning of bond that we developed with our camaraderie, the games that we used to play, the learning style that and family cohesion is significantly lost in modern days.
We had few real friends who spoke from their hearts, unlike virtual friends of the modern era. It was remarkably the best of our time. We knew quite a few people from our area. They were amazing individuals, and we had a real family vibe. I am thrilled to have met such beautiful souls from whom I could gain heaps of experiences and lessons.
Those days, we created bonds and a sense of belonging where everyone looked out for each other, unlike temporal bonds in virtual platforms where truthfulness is a mirage.
Spending time with those true friends physically created comfort, relaxation and peace of mind. But, unfortunately, today, we only get the temporary happiness of likes and thumbs-ups from virtual friends.
We were emotionally connected, and everybody cared for personal, spiritual and emotional well-being. Our sincere and close relationships enabled us even to sort out each other’s family problems. So it was not just a friendship rather a lifelong bond.
As for the games we used to play, they were incredible. The degree of adventure and bravery was the core of every game. We played physically whatever today’s kids play virtually. The games we used to play are a rare sight today. Perhaps those might be obsolete. But, it is unfortunate. Almost all games we played at that time instilled in us a kind of team spirit and sense of brotherhood, unlike virtual games that sow the seeds of greed and selfishness in our minds. I still remember the aroma of the earth, which was distinct to those bygone days. Our childhood friends’ games included fishing, climbing to the top of trees, making a hut in trees, riding, skating, boat riding in floodwater, etc. We can’t describe in words the degree of fun we used to enjoy, especially during the rainy days and subsequent floods in the vicinity of our home.
It makes me giggle whenever I recall how my mom used to burst out at me for my mischievous deeds. Every weekend, we sneak away in the early morning as a Dove and return home down like a crow. We never mind the burning sun at noontime when it comes to playing. In short, we were the wittiest creatures ever inhabited those days. But, we had to adhere to a set of rules which was very strict and would face the consequences in the event of any breaching. The most important rule was that, no matter what we played or where we were roaming around in the daytime, we must be at home before the sunset and be ready to observe religious rituals and engage in studies. Having packed up stuff at night, we should have our meals on time and go to bed at the earliest. There was no way for late-night sleep unless a special occasion.
Few people may describe this way of life as ultra-conservative.
There were no long hour private classes or annoying homework. Instead, there was definite tranquillity spread in every nook and corner of our lives because we had ample time for sleeping, playing and spending leisure activities. There were only three or four channels on the television with limited programmes. We were allowed to see cartoons for a few hours but not every day. It is interesting to note that our lives were centred on the mosques and religious observances apart from schools.
Further, the 90s kids were blessed with family cohesion, unconditional love, affection, and meticulous care of our extended families consisting of uncles, aunts, grandparents, and cousins. Only we can realise how much is lost in modern times since we could enjoy and taste everything abundantly. Consolidating the bonds among the extended family was at those times an unwritten constitution beyond custom. We were never lonely. The 90s kids were always surrounded by their respective extended families and had to spend their time under tight scrutiny. Their matters were decided not only by their parents alone but those extended family members as well.
Here, I would like to share what my extended family meant to me. The memories of all members of my extended family are still alive in my mind and soul, even though many of them are no more. Whenever I think of them, my heart is pounding, and my eyes start to sweat because of the bond we created over time. Still, I can recall my early childhood period, which I spent in our ancestral home surrounded by incredible hearts. I should tell you about an uncle of mine. Honestly, he was my arch enemy since he had all the powers to control me. My ears will bear witness since he twisted them whenever he found me making any mischief. He was very strict and punctual. My plea or distress call or any accusation about him to my parents would always fall on deaf ears. But now I realise that he was not a villain at all. He is an actual mentor who tried to instil good values in me.
The heavenly atmosphere in which we were brought up is no more in today’s lifestyle. Upbringing and nurturing a child had not been vested in the hands of respective parents alone. Instead, it went beyond parents to the hands of their extended family. Nurturing was a collective task, and each member of a particular extended family had a relative job entailed in the subject matter of a child’s education. Education here means not merely teaching formal school education, but it is much broader than what we perceive at present. It encompasses many things, including school education. The scope would go far beyond teaching surviving skills, rooted customs and ethics; imparting knowledge, whether related to native business or specific skills or indigenous medicine, until sculpting our behaviours and attitudes.
Having observed social structure, particularly kids’ education, we can come up with two different modus of teaching in practice then. Teaching and nurturing a child in a traditional structure was assigned to two different teams. One was the ‘Teacher-led team’, which has been in practice since the Industrial Revolution. The second was the ‘Parent lead team’, which is the ancestors’ system and had been in practice for many centuries, but regrettably, it is now outdated. If we think retrospectively, we can notice that our first teacher had never been a school teacher but a member of our extended family and environment.
Back then, we used to assist fathers in handling their businesses or accompany them on business tours. Without a single diploma in business management, sometimes we helped our uncles fix pieces of machinery. We never heard of sophisticated terms in engineering and looked after livestock and farms without formal education on agriculture and livestock farming. Many things we learnt first were either through the environment or extended families.
This ancestor’s system of education, which was a thriving method, gave us empirical knowledge about our life and nature. But, literally, fortunately, the modern generation lost the legacy of ancestral teaching modus.
Generally speaking, the perception that we used to look at regarding relationships, schooling, games, leisure time and all walks of life in those days was unique and identical, which cannot be commensurate with modern days’ perception. Therefore, I would say we should learn more about that transition point so that we can recover our future generation and regain the glorious moments that we happen to lose.
