I want

April 25, 2022

 

 

I want to walk
my hands swinging
long and free
if these roads were not
cobbled eyes
but spun trees
flowers would become
fences or paths at my feet

I want to suspend thought
wear old jeans
pull that thorn out
of her cracked feet
wear an inside out shirt
no buttons, no seams

I want to walk beside
my daughter,
that old woman there
with a heart as young
as a seed
I want to walk with them
and alone, free, feet
heart thumping feet
into forests of unknown deep
I want to pause
and whisper all your wrong
towards me and then blow
them away on a withered leaf

I want to lie down
my hands beside me
streaming women dreams
unhatched and nurtured
by my dancing veins
I want to go as far as
the light of my dreams can see

I don’t want to hear
about skin any more
about lengths of noses
or where hair ought to grow
in the wild honeyed forest
my humanity keeps
I only want to feel skin
on me, as me, in me,

I want to play for you
the chords of my bones
strung upon my heart’s
messy structure
do you promise to hear
or will you decipher?

I want to beat to the rhythm
of my fatigue and not treat it
I want to walk with my hands
swinging large and free
laughing at the one
who made limbs where
wings ought to have been

Sonali Pattnaik

Dr. Sonali Pattnaik is an award-winning poet, academician, visual artist and author of ‘when the flowers begin to speak’ (Writers Workshop). An erstwhile professor and alumna of Delhi University she is widely published in in the area of visuality and gender. Her poetry has been published in international journals including The Radical Notion, The Hong Kong Review and Muse India and anthologised widely.

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