Shameela
The Tangled Roots of Identity
“In all of us, there is a hunger, marrow-deep, to know our heritage – to know who we are and where we came from.”
Alex Haley
As I watch my young son grow in a foreign land, my heart aches to know what kind of man he will one day be, what memories he will have of me and where I come from.
He is just a young child who has seen just three summers his entire life.
And yet I see a fire, a spark, a call in him. I am sure he will grow into someone he’s destined to be, learn to spin, weave his life, and stride through its labyrinths.
During the quiet hours when Humaidh goes to school, I often sit down to pen my thoughts in a journal. I feel pride in watching him develop into his own person, carrying a legacy of love, courage, and grace that will see him through life’s challenges and possibilities. But as I write, I cannot help but feel that as my son grows, history will weigh him down. He will feel the need for his roots, for stories old and new, to ground him, guide him, and see him through. As he travels through the complexities of this journey, I know that his roots and our unconditional love will guide him to find his place in this wide and wondrous world.
I often think and realise the importance of nurturing his sense of identity. Though this land, the UK, is now his home, his heritage spans oceans, mountains, skies and colourful flavours and aromas. I narrate the stories I heard from my father, tales from my childhood, and the food my mother made us while telling stories from the Quran, Sindbad and One Thousand and One Nights. These stories will connect him to his unknown past so he can be at peace with his present.
I love to observe people and their sensitivities. It helps me to gain a deeper understanding of the social dynamics and cultural practices of the communities around me. I frequently see the anxiety of fitting in, with most of us who have come to settle in the UK from other countries. A common thread binds us all – this desire to fit in, to feel at home in a foreign land.
It is true that when we move to a new place, we often feel like outsiders and experience culture shock and feelings of othering and homesickness.
We blend in with the local culture by adopting its customs and values to establish a sense of belonging. The need to fit into the dominant culture comes from a natural human desire to belong and to feel accepted by others.
The pressure to fit in can be extreme for children growing up in a foreign land. As we know, the challenges in school, social settings, and even within their own families can be overwhelming. Embracing the complexities of multiple cultural identities is not easy. It can be tempting to simply blend in and suppress their cultural heritage to avoid standing out or drawing unwanted attention.
Research has shown that the need to fit in with a new culture is a common experience for immigrants and their children. According to a study published in the Journal of International Migration and Integration, the process of acculturation – or adapting to a new culture – is often accompanied by feelings of stress, anxiety, and confusion (Berry, 1997). To cope with these feelings, immigrants and their children may adopt the norms and behaviours of the new culture to fit in and gain acceptance (Schwartz, Montgomery, & Briones, 2006). I think it is important to recognise the difference between fitting in and losing touch with one’s cultural identity. Of course, no one can deny that adapting to the norms and expectations of a new culture is essential. But maintaining the connection to one’s roots and celebrating the diversity that makes one unique is equally important.
A study published in the Journal of Adolescent Research found that second-generation immigrants who maintained a strong connection to their cultural heritage experienced higher levels of self-esteem and academic achievement than those who did not (Fuligni, Tseng, & Lam, 1999).
Some of us may feel inadequate about our own heritage. We often compare our heritage to the dominant culture of England, which may appear more desirable or superior in terms of social status, economic opportunities, and cultural influence.
There is a significant body of research exploring the link between language and identity.
Language and identity are connected, and feelings of shame or inadequacy around one’s language use can be linked to broader questions of identity and belonging. Someone who feels disconnected from their cultural heritage or community may struggle to find value or pride in their language or view it as a barrier to success.
Language and identity are deeply interconnected, as language serves as a means of both expressing and reinforcing cultural values and norms (Giles & Coupland, 1991; Norton, 2013). Research has shown that individuals who maintain a strong connection to their heritage language and culture report higher levels of self-esteem and psychological well-being and are better equipped to navigate the challenges of living in a new cultural environment (Kuo & Roysircar, 2004; Lee & Zane, 2012; Tadmor & Tetlock, 2006).
Bilingual individuals often view their identities as shaped by both languages.
But many immigrants and their children often face pressure to assimilate into the dominant culture and language of their new country, leading to a loss of their heritage language and culture (Norton, 2013). This can result in feelings of shame and inadequacy around their cultural and linguistic background (García, 2009). In some cases, parents may choose not to speak their native language at home, believing it may impede their children’s success in school or social integration (Portes & Rumbaut, 2001).
But research suggests that this may actually have negative consequences for both the children’s academic achievement and their sense of identity and belonging (García, 2009; Kim & Diaz, 2011). Encouraging the maintenance of heritage language and culture while also fostering proficiency in the dominant language, can help to promote positive self-identity and facilitate the development of a bicultural identity (Phinney & Devich-Navarro, 1997; Portes & Rumbaut, 2001).
A study published in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology found that individuals who embraced both their cultural heritage and the norms of the host culture experienced greater life satisfaction and well-being than those who identified strongly with only one culture (Kiang et al., 2006).
It gives me goosebumps to recall when I held my son in my arms for the first time. I couldn’t help but feel a sense of longing for my parents and my homeland.
I see children around me grow older and become more and more disconnected from their culture. They speak the language of their new home fluently but struggle to express themselves in their parents’ tongue. They embrace the customs of their surroundings readily but seem to have little interest in the traditions in which their roots lie.
I want Humaidh to know our culture’s richness, our people’s warmth, and the beauty of our traditions. I want him to be proud of who he is and his multiple cultural identities. As a first-time mom in a foreign land, navigating the complexities of raising a child and keeping our culture alive is tough. But I’ll keep trying and persevering because I know it’s worth it.
My son may not realise it now, but one day he will thank me for teaching him about his roots and helping him connect to his heritage.
Note
Alex Haley is an African American author best known for his Pulitzer Prize-winning book “Roots: The Saga of an American Family,”
Haley’s interest in genealogy and family history led him to trace his own ancestry back to the African village of Juffure, where his ancestor Kunta Kinte was captured and brought to America as an enslaved person. The story of Kunta Kinte’s journey and the generations that followed him became the basis for “Roots.”
Bibliography
Berry, J. W. (1997). Immigration, acculturation, and adaptation. Applied Psychology, 46(1), 5-34.
Fuligni, A. J., Tseng, V., & Lam, M. (1999). Attitudes toward family obligations among American adolescents with Asian, Latin American, and European backgrounds. Child Development, 70(4), 1030-1044.
Giles, H., & Coupland, N. (1991). Language: Contexts and consequences. Milton Keynes: Open University Press.
Kuo, B. C., & Roysircar, G. (2004). Working with culture: Psychotherapeutic interventions with ethnic minority children and adolescents. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 35(6), 640-647.
Lee, R. M., & Zane, N. W. (2012). Ethnic identity and acculturation. In S. J. Schwartz, K. Luyckx, & V. L. Vignoles (Eds.), Handbook of identity theory and research (pp. 395-417). Springer.
Norton, B. (2013). Identity and language learning: Extending the conversation. Routledge.
Schwartz, S. J., Montgomery, M. J., & Briones, E. (2006). The role of identity in acculturation among immigrant people: Theoretical propositions, empirical questions, and applied recommendations. Human Development, 49(1), 1-30.
Tadmor, C. T., & Tetlock, P. E. (2006). Biculturalism: A model of the effects of second-culture exposure on acculturation and integrative complexity. Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, 37(2), 173-190.
