Angelica Chandrasekeran
As the usual weekday morning buzz of traffic, footfall and chatter outside is suspended by an enforced lockdown, I am led into a renewed awareness. It is the absence of noise and movement we engage in from moment to moment, through thoughts, feelings, self-talk, spoken out as words, conversation and the resultant busyness of action.
I am increasingly aware of the vastness of space and time – flowing like an inexhaustible river, with no regard for all the business that takes place within it, only a witnessing.
I’ve lost count of how many days I’ve been self-isolating. And since I don’t own a calendar or a watch, I need to check the calendar on my phone to know what time and day I am currently living in.
“Pssssst what are you up to?”
“…COVID-19 Update…” “….How’s it going?…”
“…Breaking News…” “…You there…?”
“….All ok…?” “…Apparently….”
“…Hello…?”
I see several unread messages on my phone which I have set to “Do Not Disturb.” Some are slightly more insistent, and I wonder if I did the right thing by offering free phone consultations since I had to cancel consultations in person.
One message, in particular, stands out;
“I need to talk. This is eerie… I don’t know how much longer I can take it…”
I am made aware that my neighbour has woken up and turned on his device by the volume which is guaranteed to allow the whole neighbourhood to share in his love for the morning news and complementary noise in the form of pop music.
I am not a misanthrope. I grew up on a 14-acre estate some 11 miles out of town where I went to school. My family had moved there in a self-imposed exile following their third experience of a racial riot when I was five years old. I learned early to enjoy the quiet of sitting high up in one of the many fruit trees, unseen by the inhabitants of my world, except maybe for those that flew, crawled or slithered.
Until time and space taught me I could even escape their notice if I softened my breath and relaxed my body just so until I became the branch I sat on, and then I became the tree swaying in the wind.
It served me well in my ensuing years when I befriended the cycles of violence, death, destruction, calamity, loss, loneliness, fear, shame, jealousy, hate, guilt, sadness, love, hope, and joy.
“Silence is a source of Great Strength.”
― Lao Tzu
Modern research lends credence to the adage ‘Silence is Golden’. Findings support its myriad powers: from being more relaxing for our body and brain than listening to music – as measured by a lowering of blood pressure and increased blood flow to the brain – relieving tension in just two minutes, lessening insomnia and enhancing sleep, stimulating the growth of new brain cells in the area of our brains linked to learning and recall growth in a minimum of just two hours of silence, restoring our cognitive resources, increasing the ability to prioritize and focus, lessening feelings of overwhelm, leading to greater awareness and space for personal reflection, allowing for the making of more measured decisions that stem from tapping into our innate creativity, beauty and goodness.
In fact, noise – which the World Health Organization likens to a ‘modern plague’ – has been found to affect stress levels by raising cortisol and adrenaline, as well as heart disease and tinnitus.
And yet, when faced with this quiet moment in time, we are not very comfortable with it. After all, doesn’t survival require more doing and being?
However, life includes not only evolution and activity but also a state of quiescence that pervades the vastness of space and time. It requires of us a mental ‘stepping back’ to witness and allow for what is.
What more can I say, except maybe invite you, to take some time and space (you’ll be surprised at how much of it you have now) to try and soften your breath and relax into your being.
Become aware of your thoughts and emotions.
Now, this is the hard part – try to not judge it, change it, wish it away or cling to it. Acknowledge and allow for it as probably a natural reaction to what is going on around you, in your surroundings. It helps to try and watch your breath from moment to moment, because in the truth that is all there is.
