and as I took the blade to my foot,
I never meant to make a cut deep enough
for my blood to flow as freely as it did.
And as I sat there for half an hour drenching
bits of cotton, all I could think about was the
appointment I had the next day.
There is always something unnerving about
doctor’s appointments for children isn’t it?
And when you know you have to be clear headed, and
really nowhere as emotional as you usually are,
taking your 14 year old to a Cardiologist,
you distract yourself with the most absurd things.
Maybe like taking a late night shower to
ease the muscles and calm the nerves.
Maybe like deciding to take care of parts of you,
you haven’t been able to make time for,
seeing how badly your feet need some attention too.
Maybe like giving yourself a quick pedicure at 10:30 pm
so that you can feel a little better, a little more like a woman
who isn’t only a confident mother sitting across from a doctor,
talking about the near fainting spells her 14 year old keeps experiencing,
but also a woman who in-between it all, takes time to pretty her feet.