Liquid Stars

A Tanka Sequence

Praying
all day & all night
to God
never questioning why
cancer invaded my life

until the doctor
tells me what stage cancer
i have, my fears
will hang like dewdrops
on a bleeding heart

pale gray clouds
across the morning star
i gather
strength & courage
for my first chemo

wishing my mother
was here to hold my hand
during treatments
from beyond life
i can feel her blessing

after chemo
getting thinner & thinner
my body
its shadow
fading on the wall

hair falling out
in clumps in my brush
on the floor
like petals
of a dying lotus

cancer is merely
a detour in life . . .
walking down
a nameless road
i stop & pick wild violets

no way off
this cancer journey
i set sail
into the blue batik sky
& glide without wings

autumn leaves
shedding into the misty day
slowly, slowly
my hair
growing back

who will rebuild
the ruins of my heart
after cancer?
i scoop up liquid stars
& drink them