Abira KannanA WHOLE NEW WORLD
‘I can open your eyes
Take you wonder by wonder
Over, sideways and under
On a magic carpet ride’
The tabletop fountain in the middle of the warm room calmed her down. Jasmine took a deep breath before continuing with the session.
‘We can take a break if you need,’ Genie says as he puts down his notepad
‘No, I’m okay.’
‘Tell me about the trip,’ Genie responds.
Day 1
‘Ladies and gentlemen, we have just been cleared to land at the Ho Chinh Minh City airport. Local time is 8:30 am and the temperature is 31.6 °C. Please make sure your seat belts are securely fastened. Thank you.’
Excitement somersaulted within Jas to the roar of the engine as she daydreamed about what her first overseas trip had in store for her. Beside her, Aladdin spoke of their plans for the upcoming days. Al and Jas had been friends for six months and decided to travel before he moved cities to start his next job. The newness of their friendship bought about its own intense intimacy as they had feelings for each other they hadn’t revealed.
Al’s magic carpet floated beside his shoulder as he checked his watch and exited the terminal and told Jas to quickly grab their belongings from baggage claim. In the cab on their way to the hostel, Jas noticed bicycles, trucks, motorbikes and cars honking at each other reminding her of her own city, Agrabah. The streets were chaotic yet somehow structured in their chaos. Upon arriving at the hostel, Jas lugged her suitcase up the stairs to her room with the other girls away from Al as men and women were to sleep separately. Jas’s dad only allowed her to travel as it was a group tour.
The first activity planned on their itinerary was to visit the Cu Chi Tunnels. They were underground tunnels in a forest used as a war tactic by the Vietnamese. They were offered to crawl through one 60-meter tunnel. On her hands and knees, through the tight suffocating space, Jas tried to keep her composure and move quickly. She wanted to impress Al with how adventurous she was as he had often complained about how boring his past partners had been. Jas felt the heat suck the coolness off her body like she was a drug. Her skinny weak arms began to ache as her whole body felt no breath. While Al slowed down, his magic carpet fizzed to Jas and buzzed slightly, what was once a calm blue now burning orange. In frustration, she pushed it aside and continued crawling, focusing on keeping it together. The tunnel became smaller and smaller and she felt like her body was trapped inside a mask. A beam of light with suspended dust particles made her sigh with relief as she stepped out to the crisp air. Jas noticed a squirrel frozen in its spot as they headed back to the bus.
Day 2
The early coffee-dark sky let out a steady patter of rain that nudged Jas awake. Stepping foot in the vastly contrasting town, Nha Trang, Jas reflected on how much it resembled what she thought of Hawaii with its craned palm-fringed beaches.
Later that day, the group made their way to a secluded beach party without the presence of the usual tourists and tacky stands. Sipping on her glass of rum and listening to the rhythmic pulse of the waves and seagulls screeching, Jas had felt she was in a hypnotic trance. As everyone scattered about and rested, Al joined Jas and their conversation transcended beyond words. The shrugs, light in the eyes and comfortable silences made them appreciate each other’s presence. As a yacht bobbed and lolled in the incoming tide so did Jas’s inner thoughts as she could feel her inhibitions lowering. Al listened to Jas like her words were gold that he had been waiting to find. He reflected deeply before consoling her as she revealed her sorrows and secrets. It was his empathetic attentiveness that reminded Jas what she cherished most about him. Al piggybacked her from the drenched sands to the waves and dropped her before they swung their arms, embraced and laughed. Jas knew at that moment she would do anything to keep Al by her side.
As the group headed towards their bus, Al stopped in his steps. He noticed a local’s elbow sticking out as he moved his phone in the direction Jas walked.
‘Hey!’ Al barged towards him. The local looked down and hurried in the opposite direction.
‘He was trying to take a photo of you,’ Al screamed
‘It’s okay, be calm at least he didn’t,’ Jas said as she flustered and squinted her eyes in confusion.
‘This is how you get yourself in shitty situations, Jas.’
‘What? What do you mean? Are you seriously saying I did something wrong here?’
Others from the tour turned to each other and exchanged uncomfortable glances as they wondered whether to intervene.
‘Okay everyone’s looking, can we just drop this,’ Jas stammered as she looked down and continued walking, not wanting Al to fall into his mood traps again.
Al pulled her arm.
‘Look, it’s my job to protect you. You don’t know any better, you’re too naïve,’ he said as he ran his knuckle down her cheek.
As the others in the tour were astonished by his sudden anger, Jas thought his protectiveness made her feel safe. No one had cared about her the way he did.
On the way back to the hostel, Jas nestled on Al’s shoulder; their hands together an oyster home that turned tears into pearls. While showering that night, Jas noticed two deep cuts on both sides of her back, under her breasts, blood oozing out but she could feel no pain. She thought perhaps she had been so intoxicated on rum and happiness she didn’t feel the harsh rocks slicing her skin. Or maybe it was Al’s carpet that skimmed past her during the altercation. She never knew where the wounds came from.
Day 3
The train arrived at the picturesque town; Hoi Ann. Jas walked the vibrant streets where beautiful lanterns hung like Christmas lights. Cafes and open markets drew Jas in as she admired the architectural monuments and the ferry quay. She suddenly came across the most beautiful gown; the similarity reminding her of the floral abaya she wore in her homeland.
A row of dresses hung, showing off their colours as Jas chose hot pink; the colour of giggles, timidity and innocence.
‘Can I .. try this?’ Jas asked the owner.
‘Try…. here,’ he replied showing the fitting room at the back of the store.
The two-flap modern silk dress worn with loose pants hugged Jas’s body illuminating a sensuous charm. Sewn off at the hip, it covered everything and hid nothing with its sheer fabric.
That night Jas decided to wear her new gown.
The group headed to a boat cruise around the waterway. Sitting at the rear of the ferry, watching the mischievous waters run back home to the sun as it set, Jas had noticed Al was quiet around her as he drank and laughed with the others. As dusk entered, Jas reflected on the times she went to the beach with her friends and how much happier she was. She was disappointed she couldn’t create a happier time with Al.
‘You look beautiful in that dress, Jas,’ the tour guide said before continuing to explain the dress was a symbol of peace, grace and femininity.
As the others were in awe of Jas, she did not care for what they thought; she just wanted to impress Al.
‘What do you think?” she asked Al
‘It’s a bit much. I know you just want me to shower you with compliments.’
Jas’s heart sank when she falsely believed he would be nice again. Her silence surprised her as a few months ago she would have said something snarky back. Al’s carpet was furiously buzzing over her head as she grabbed another glass of rum.
‘I think –’
Al turned his head. ‘Jas, don’t pretend to disagree and why are you drinking so much? You would be so much more refined as a woman if you learnt some self-control.’
‘We’re on a fucking hol- ‘
‘Watch your language.’
‘I don’t know understand why you’re so- ‘
‘You’ll understand what I’m saying if you just take a minute to think,’ Al snapped back as he walked off to the others.
Jas suffocated under the weight of his arguments and blinked back tears.
As they went back to the hostel, the group drank more at the outdoor pool and began dancing together. Al joined, grabbing Jas by the waist. The alcohol must have made him come out of his shell again, Jas thought, and was happy they could be normal again. Al was generous when he was in a good mood. They were intoxicated with immense happiness even the trees, benches and lights danced with them.
A tailored bass riff echoed as the carefree and hazy song played
‘Nothing’s gonna hurt you baby…’
‘This is one of my favourites,” Al said as he sang to Jas.
Jas’s eyes were heavy from all the alcohol she had been having. Fumbling her way to Al’s dorm, she felt dizzy and fatigued. She sunk on Al’s bed and they decided to finish the movie they were watching earlier on the train. In and out of consciousness, she drowsed off to sleep.
Jas woke up to the sound of the bedsheets rustling before noticing the distant feeling of being touched. Her breath trapped in her lungs as confusion blared like a torch glued to her eye sockets. She grabbed Al’s hands off her only for him to shove it back. Her jaw locked in its place unable to let out the scream that was inside her. It choked her innocence that was no longer hers to keep. The Cu Chi tunnels seemed grand in its size as she lay there trapped wide apart for hours not knowing what to do or how to get up. She became prey to him like a squirrel freezing to a hawk’s precision hunting and intelligence who had been watching, waiting and striking when the time was right.
The next time Jas opened her eyes, the sun was up like the world hadn’t stopped for her. For a few moments, she didn’t know where she was. The memory of the night came back and discomposure tightened her stomach.
‘What time are we leaving for the next city?’ Jas asked, not wanting to address what had happened.
‘Uh. 8:30.’
Jas went back to her own room and began packing for Hanoi. From the emptying breakfast buffet that was laid out, she mindlessly grabbed dried oranges and apples despite her lack of appetite. Walking past Al with her plate of food, they both smiled at each other but he did not look her in the eye.
Day 5
A day had passed in Hanoi where it had been heavily raining. Jas had loved the rain growing up as she felt close to nature but that day she slept inside her dorm, crying privately as questions raced in her head. I don’t want to ruin this trip she thought to herself as she found all the excuses, she could to blanket his actions.
As the others left to explore the city, Jas stumbled her way up a tiny narrow staircase towards Al’s room, the significant consumption of scotch making her lose her patience and sanity. Creeping towards the door quietly, Jas could see Al crouched on the corner of his bed, his back to the door slightly ajar. The distance dampened the sounds so all she could hear was his muffled voice cutting in and out.
‘I will never forgive myself!’, Al cried as he breathed frantically.
Jas was caught between an impulse of helping him or staying hidden. A jab of guilt hit her as she wondered if she had done something wrong as she continued watching him talk to himself in distress.
‘I’m a good person. I did nothing wrong.’
You literally did the same thing you did to the-
`’No, it was in the heat of the moment.’
You can’t keep doing this.
‘I’m imperfect but I’m not malicious. I would never hurt anybody.’
As Jas convinced herself the night was just one big mistake, she hurried off back to her room and convinced herself to forget about it. He loves me.
Meanwhile, Al stared into his reflection beside the bathroom sink and repeated his inner spell.
‘I’m the good guy. I’m the good guy’. The guilt and remorse he had felt momentarily was swept away into his carpet.
Day 7
On the last day of their trip, Jas and Al waited outside the arena for the water puppet show to begin as Hanoi was famous for their plays. They walked into the auditorium and found their seats at the back. Jas quietly sat, pretending to scan the room so she didn’t have to concentrate on how moody and lifeless Al was around her. Although the chairs were narrow, blurring the physical proximities between strangers, Jas felt the distance between Al was far greater than it had ever been.
‘You don’t look too well, are you okay?’ Jas leaned forward and asked.
‘I’m just tired.” There was only boredom in his voice.
‘Have some water, here.’
Al shook his head and his brows began to furrow.
‘Ok, I was just trying to…’
“My god Jas SHHH just shut… shush,’ he says before clenching his jaw.
A lone spotlight and singer appeared followed by water puppets who popped and swam in hued lights.
Jas was silent and felt the eyes of those around her shift to see her humiliation and embarrassment. Her mouth opened and shut with no sound escaping.
The puppets began to tell the story of how a dragon king lived in the sea and a beautiful fairy lived in the mountains whose name was Au Co. Jas’s thoughts began to wander off as she questioned why her relationship with Al wasn’t nearly half as poetic as the play. The more she ran to Al the more she recognised she was running away from herself.
She had imagined kissing Al. There were so many moments. At the airport. On the plane. The forest. The beach. The river. Train. Pool. Yet she realised even if they had, it would never make up for the one time she wasn’t awake let alone asked. Jas knew something was toxic and hated herself for not understanding why she still couldn’t hate him. Perhaps it was her fault she thought.
Jas looked towards the exit. ‘I’m just heading to the bathroom.’
*
Catching her eye was a skinny framed, hollow and unrecognizable reflection in the mirror. Her cheeks were swollen as if her soul was missing and what remained was a physical entity.
Al’s magic carpet sputtered behind Jas as she spun around in shock. She noticed the carpet was frayed at the edges. She stepped closer. Pulling on the threads she immediately felt a whirlwind enveloped her inside. She felt glass slice her body and howled in terror. Landing on gravel like entering a dream without knowing how and where it started, Jas wiped the dust from her eyes. Blinking franticly, she tried to focus her vision.
Dark figures began to come closer to Jas.
‘Where am I? What’s happening?!’ Jas asked into the saturated humidity in the air.
As the figures roamed closer, Jas could faintly begin to see women approaching.
They revealed to Jas they were broken souls trapped in the magic carpet under his power. Aladdin was an incubus, a demon that lies upon sleeping women in order to engage in sexual activity with them, hiding under a charming façade. He cast spells on each of them whenever they had come along his path. The spells included psychological manipulation, gaslighting, narcissism, intimidation, deception and fraudery.
‘You are under a spell too,’ one of them said to Jas.
‘I don’t know what’s real but that can’t be’ Jas replied, ‘He would never do that. Not to me.’
One by one the women began to tell their own stories of what Al had done to them. They explained he was a type of incubus that did not have access to emotions unless the emotions overpowered him. To humans, positive emotions are no more intense than water or oxygen; you couldn’t live without them but they do not shock you into realizing your existence. For Al, he feeds off negative emotions like pain which makes him come alive and alerts him to his existence.
“But why me? How? Why would he put me through the same pain I opened up to him about? Jas said.
A girl that looked similar to Jas came forward and began to explain how Al builds dysfunctional relationships. All the women in the carpet used to have a comfort zone protected by non-negotiable boundaries. When they met and began to form a bond with Al, he broke the comfort zone and transformed it.
‘Like the time he groped me when we went to a party together,’ one said
‘Or the comments he made about the role of women in society,’ another said.
In order for the women to stay in the relationship, Al establishes an alternative comfort zone with shared boundaries. Yet this space was not real.
‘Did you ever notice one day your identity was just thrown away? You had no agency because you were divorced from reality,’ they continued.
‘So, what, we’re pawns on a chessboard that he plays with until he’s bored of the game? Jas asked.
They continued explaining that once Al had nothing else left to destroy, he moves on. The only way he stops himself from feeling any sense of guilt or human emotions is by constructing narratives that absorbs his shame and sweeping it inside the carpet portal.
In Agrabah, Al is a respected individual. If any woman dared to come forward, they were not believed and some were even banished to live in caves as they were considered witches for making up lies.
Jas slowly began to realise the ugly mirror of what her relationship with Aladdin reflected. The souls were fighting with all their strength to break free from the carpet and the power of their resilience and forgiveness towards themselves opened up the threads to the carpet; allowing for Jas to enter and take them with her.
As the curse began to fade, the souls of the women began to whizz and fizz and Jas found herself being vacuumed out.
*
A year had passed.
‘Look Jas, I wish I could grant you three wishes but in this line of work I can only suggest three things to work on until our next session,’ Genie says as he finishes writing in his notepad.
After the therapy session, Jas walked out to buy coffee from her favourite café in Agrabah. A bell rang when she entered as she walked past the tables to order. A subdued tone and electric bass started to play. Jas stopped. Her cells froze. She had recognized the noir edge in the music that began. Jas grabbed a chair to balance. Slowly breathing and remembering what Genie had taught her, she couldn’t control the panicked tears that erupted from within her. At that moment she let it all consume her, sobbing and panting as the song hugged her.
‘Nothings gonna hurt you baby…..’.
Written By:
Abira Kannan
