Jill Lighus
It’s not very often that I feel inspired to write a story or to express what’s going on in my life. Mostly because I don’t consider myself that great a writer. However, I had the most amazing breakthrough yesterday. Perhaps the virus isn’t so bad after all. Now, bear with me. I keep seeing posts saying about how this is a pivotal time and hearing about how people are having more time to think about things, to spend more time re-evaluating their lives. Thinking about what’s important, who’s important, and what to be grateful for.
This has definitely been true for me. I’m glad to be healthy. I’m so glad for my home. I’m glad for my husband. And, I’m so glad I started engaging heavily in World Pulse three and a half years ago. It seems like a lifetime ago; like it’s part of who I am. I’m not the same person I was then.
I’m a stronger, more outspoken warrior who was lying dormant waiting for the right time and catalyst to awaken me. I love who I am becoming. I love my purpose. I love my World Pulse sisters! The love we share on here has had such a profound effect on me and has created such an amazing ripple effect in my life and all those I engage with.
The reason why this has become so pronounced and prevalent now, last evening, is because I had such a deeply moving, life-altering conversation with my ailing, and estranged, father; a conversation that I’ve literally been waiting my entire life to have. I don’t mean this lightly. I was the youngest of five and felt invisible for practically my entire life.
The game-changer was definitely the World Pulse. Yes, I was ready for a major change when I moved to Spain five years ago, and, yes, I was becoming stronger prior to moving here, but what facilitated this butterfly’s metamorphosis is this loving, life-changing community. I feel safe. I feel loved. I knew in 2016 that I had found my tribe; the family I never had. I hope whoever reads this can feel the depth of my sincerity. I have a tendency to be rather reserved, so when I speak this passionately, please know that it’s real.
There isn’t much else to say. I just really felt compelled to share this amazing moment and the powerful transition that occurred yesterday in my life. I feel like it’s a pivotal time for me to be freer, healthier, more grounded and even more focused on my life purpose. I feel freer than I ever have before from the self-imposed prison that was subconsciously created all those years ago to preserve myself. I feel like a heavyweight has been lifted from my heart now that I couldn’t figure out how to be freed from.
I feel like my Dad really heard me, for perhaps the first time in my life. Why do people always wait to speak up until they have to? Yes, it was incredibly hard, and, yes, I had to speak up. This heavy energy needed to shift. It was time, and for that, I’m truly, and utterly, grateful. I know that now I’ve cleared the air between us, and we can move forward, finally, from a more loving, understanding, forgiving, respectful, and grounded place, whether this is our last conversation in this lifetime, on this plane, or whether we have more conversations.
This day and this moment will be forever etched in my memory. If it was because of the reflective time imposed on us by COVID-19, not all has been lost to me. Our world is reawakening to a more balanced, equitable world, and we’re fortunate enough to be a part of this incredible time in human history.
